Welcome to Visionary’s Pursuit, a podcast where we explore what it takes to turn your bold and inspiring ideas into reality. I'm Carolina Zuleta. I'm a life and business coach and your host for this podcast.Ā I'm thrilled to have you here.Ā
Welcome back. This is episode 45 of the Visionaries Pursuit Podcast.
As always, I'm so happy to be with all of you here today and as I'm recording this podcast, I'm coming back from two weeks, completely unplugged from work, except maybe the last episode that I did record it for all of you in the middle of my time off. In this second week, we left the mountains in Colorado and went to New York. My youngest brother lives in New York in Manhattan, and we stayed with him and his fiance and we had the best time.
It was amazing to be able to enjoy that city that I love so much with my two young girls go to a musical with Maya, my older daughter, it's a passion we both share and we just packed the girls' swimsuits in our backpack and every splash pad fountain they found they were in really enjoying New York Summer and as we were coming back, my husband and I were talking about how amazing it is that we can take two weeks off and unplug and not be worried about emails coming in or a boss calling us to tell us that we should be doing X or Y or Z.
As I've shared in other episodes, when I first thought about becoming a coach, I created a vision for my life where freedom was one of the main values. And for me, freedom represents being able to do that, choosing to take time to enjoy life outside of work. And as much as I love coaching my business, my clients, I enjoy doing this podcast and deciding classes for my clients. Taking time off is also one of my favorite things. And coming back I realized how much good it does for me.
Because listen, I love coaching so much that I always say I would do it for free. And when I'm doing it, I always think like, I don't have to stop. I don't need a break. I love this. But now that I'm coming back from those two weeks off, I am realizing how important it is to me, and I think that it's important for everyone as well to unplug, to disconnect, to be present in our lives. One of the things that as high achievers, we have as ambitious people, as founders of our own businesses, is that we've learned how to delay gratification
all throughout our life we've learned how to not go to a certain social event so we can stay working late and get ahead. We've learned to sacrifice a lot of our personal time in order to put that time into our goal , into our vision, and I think that's an incredible strength. But the problem is that we overdo it.
As much as I believe in learning how to delay gratification and have grit and work hard, I also think that in our society we've pushed that too far because we keep delaying gratification endlessly.
So we tell ourselves, well, this year I'm gonna skip my vacation time, or I'm gonna, you know, work until late every day or during the weekends because I'm gonna achieve this goal. And then we say the same thing the following year and the following year and the following year. And I want us all to ask ourselves then, when is ification coming? Because gratification is also what makes this life amazing.
Some years ago I read a book called The Regrets of the Dying by a nurse who worked in palliative care. And one of the things that I remember about that book is that one of the most common regrets the people she helped pass had was that they had worked too much. They wished they hadn't worked as hard, they had missed their kids growing up, time with their spouses time for themselves and their hobbies, and simply doing nothing .
And for me, reading that book confirmed something that I've always known is that I don't wanna go through life just working and accomplishing things, but I also wanna enjoy the ride and the doing nothing and learning about other cultures and spending quality time with my loved ones.
So that's why my time off is top of my priority list. In fact, my husband and I are talking about how next year we need to plan and organize our business so we can take a full month off. Um, because two weeks seem too short. Which brings me to our topic today, which is burnout.
But what I've noticed is that there is a functional burnout that high achievers often have.
And the way I think about functional burnout is when you're still showing up, you're still producing, you're still hitting your goals. You might be working late nights, early mornings. From the outside, it looks like you got it all together, but inside you're feeling emotionally flat.
Maybe mentally scattered or physically depleted.
This makes me think of a woman I worked with some years ago that she had started her own business. She had grown it to a very successful place, but what she shared with me is that she had lost the joy for her business that even when she had wins, she felt like meh.
That she mostly felt resentful towards her clients, her employees, her business. When people came up to her with ideas of how she could expand and continue to grow, her first thought was, but how I don't have it in me.
I'm exhausted. That sounds awful to grow.
So in order to survive this awful experience, what she was doing was numbing. And she was doing it in a way that socially was acceptable. She told me, well, every night I just have a glass of wine and it helps me relax and I really enjoy it. But when we dug a little bit deeper, it wasn't only a glass of wine every night sometimes, and it being an entire bottle.
It made her tired in the morning. It made her irritable with her kids and her husband and the people at work. That glass of wine wasn't a joyful experience. It was a numbing experience.
So as we continued our coaching, exploring what was really happening in her mind, what was the story she was telling herself? What we realized is that the story she was telling herself is, there's no way of changing this. There is no way out of this. I signed up for running this business. I am responsible for a lot of jobs, for a lot of happy clients.
I can't get out of this and this is gonna be my life and I, I'm gonna be tired and exhausted forever. And she just couldn't find a way to win or to change anything.
Plus she had always been a high achiever, so she was really good at delaying gratification, pushing herself, continuing to show up, managing the stress in the moment and achieving incredible results.
As many of us, she had been conditioned to push through to continue pushing even when her body, her mind, her emotions were telling her that was not the way.
And another thing that we realized is she had always trusted her intuition. But during that time, she had shut it down. She wasn't listening to that inner voice, that wisdom inside of her that was telling her, this is not the way, because the voice of keep going. You have to succeed.
You have all these goals, you have all these responsibilities, was way louder. . And I think for any of us who are visionaries, who are high achievers, who are ambitious, that is very hard to be with.
And we many times rather push ourselves to burnout than fail or let other people down.
And throughout all these years, she's not been the only client that I've coached in that type of burnout. Every day I meet people who are tired all the time, who feel resentful towards their investors, their clients, their business partners, who.
Numb out by drinking or eating food or being in social media all the time, who in a way stop dreaming. And they are just executing.
And the other thing they have in common is that they tell the same story. Oh, when I accomplish X, Y, and Z, then I'm gonna feel better. Then I'm gonna take time off. This is just a season. Everything is going to change when the truth, it's that it's been going on for months, maybe even years.
Functional burnout is the burnout of high achievers. It's the burnout of those people who don't slow down until something breaks, until something huge happens. That they actually have to stop.
For a lot of people, it's a health scare divorce, breaking their relationship with their children, maybe even losing money, making huge mistakes at work.
But here's the good news we don't have to wait to experience that level of pain before we can change. If you're listening to this episode and you're relating to what I'm saying, maybe this is your wake up call. Maybe this is the moment that you ask yourself, how am I gonna change this? Because trust me, burning out is not the way that you have to be burning out is not the way to achieve your biggest vision and your biggest goals.
So when I start working with clients who are experiencing the symptoms of burnout, one of the first things we do is an energy audit. I give them a questionnaire that is divided into four categories: body, mind, emotions, and spirit. And it asks them several questions to try to identify what is the source of their burnout.
To make it more simple in this episode, 'because the explanation is way deeper. I want you to think that there's two different types of burnout. One is your physical burnout, your exhaustion that comes because you are not sleeping well, because you often wake up feeling tired, because you're not taking care of yourself because you're not eating at regular time is, because you're skipping breakfast or you're always sitting in front of the computer, because you are not working out or taking care of your body. And for many of us, it's because we don't take breaks during the day.
We're like machines that start at 5:30 AM and keep going until 10:00 PM without a break. And as driven and as ambitious as we are, our bodies need a break. So when we realize that our burnout is physical, is your body saying, I'm exhausted, I'm tired.
The place to look for a solution is in self-care. How are you gonna make time to eat a proper breakfast? To have at least the three main meals of the day to exercise, to take breaks during the day to sleep well.
The other type of burnout is called cynical detachment. And cynical detachment comes from your mind. It comes from the story you're telling yourself. From the outside it might look like you're always in reactive mode putting on fires all day, every day. You are constantly telling yourself that you don't have enough time, that there's not enough time, that there's no way you're gonna get through that to-do list.
So in a way, you start feeling like you're always failing. And then you become so hard on yourself. It can also look like not setting boundaries. You're telling yourself that nobody can do it the way you do it, so you're working every night, every weekend, taking the responsibility that belongs to other people.
Cynical detachment happens when you're living a life that is not aligned with your values. When you tell yourself that the most important things to you are your family, your relationship with your spouse, and that's the last thing you're putting in your to-do list. That lack of alignment with your values is draining your energy. That constant criticism is debilitating.
And I believe from my experience, what I've seen is that this is a more common type of burnout than the physical one.
Essentially cynical detachment happens when we feel that our lives are out of our control and we have the belief that we can't get that control back or that to get it the consequences, the price we have to pay is too high.
So the first step I would offer to any of you who are feeling burned out is, don't judge yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. You've been trained to push hard to be successful, and and this is a consequence of overdoing that. And then decide, is my burnout mostly physical or from my mind? If it's a combination of both, that's okay too. You're gonna have to work on both ends. And a lot of times one feeds into the other, so they can be related as well.
Like I said earlier, if it's mostly physical, make a plan to take care of your body, and if you're finding that it's cynical detachment that the burnout is coming from your mind, then that's when coaching is an incredible tool because what we do is learn how to be vigilant the stories.
We're constantly telling ourselves how to let go of those stories that don't help us and focus on developing the stories that empower us, that give us satisfaction, that allow us to live the life we want and by changing the context in which we are thinking in which we are living, then we can take different actions, then we can set boundaries, then we can hire the right people, then we can delegate more. But the first place to look is what are our beliefs? What are the beliefs that are limiting us from being fulfilled at work and not just surviving.
An easy way to do that is to pay attention during the day. What are you telling yourselves?
And have a little notebook and start writing it. I always tell my clients 80% of the work is becoming aware of what's happening in our mind that is creating the results that we're experiencing every day.
Here is a warning when you're listening to this. Don't use anything that I've shared in this episode against yourself. If you notice that you have both physical burnout and cynical detachment, don't judge yourself. Don't think you have to be perfect to fix it. Start with a couple of steps.
Maybe it's having a good night's sleep. Maybe it's drinking water throughout the day, maybe it's setting certain boundaries that at five or 6:00 PM you're going home and you're not connecting to your cell phone or your computer.
Even if at the beginning it feels hard, start somewhere. Don't allow perfectionism to be the reason why you sabotage your way of getting out of burnout.
So if you're a founder, listen to this . High functioning burnout can be the killer of your business. You are the most important asset your business has. And learning to take care of yourself physically and mentally is not a good thing to have. It's a necessity to be able to take your vision and turn it into a reality and grow your business and make it as successful as you want.
And because I believe this is so important, learning to manage your mind and your body to not burn out is a key component of my Visionary Mindset program. In two of the modules of the program that are designed to make you an unstoppable founder, we go deep into developing the resiliency and the ability within yourself to live from high energy so you can perform at your best.
Managing your energy, recovering has to be a strategy of your business. Think about professional athletes. They train hard. They push their bodies beyond their limits, but also in their plan a huge part of their strategy is recovery. And as a CEO and as a founder of your own business, taking care of your energy, knowing how to recover, knowing how to not only survive, but be at your best has to be a business strategy, not just a luxury of having a good life, but it's a business strategy.
So stay tuned for more information, and if you are not in my newsletter yet, I highly recommend you go to carozuleta.com/ and sign up to be the first one to know when the doors open to the Visionary Mindset Program.
So everyone listen. You don't have to live in burnout. You don't. You can enjoy your life. You can enjoy being a visionary, a founder, growing your business while feeling full of energy, satisfaction, enjoying the wins, and taking care of yourself.
All right. I'll see you next time.
If you're currently pursuing a big, bold idea and would love some support, let's talk. In my coaching program, I'll teach you how to manage yourself, your own thoughts and emotions. as well as your team and your money so you can turn your beautiful idea into a reality. Go now toĀ carozuleta.com slash consult that is c a r o z u l e t a dot com slash consult and complete the form to book a complimentary call with me.
See you there!Ā